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Chocolate Ice Cream!!!

Apr. 1st, 2006 | 07:23 pm
location: Drowning in ice cream
mood: cheerfulChocolate!!
music: Season's Call-HYDE

Without you, I'd be dead now....yup, definitely...^^

Ps- I love Chocolate Ice Cream!!! Yay!!! *Bounces around*

PPS- I am SO going to buy the Diabolos Tour DVD!!

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I HATE....

Mar. 29th, 2006 | 11:21 pm
mood: sadStories...
music: Freesia~op.2- Gackt

OH,I know what I hate right now.
List of top ten things I hate at this very moment:

1.My darling school teachers who do not even deserve the name of educators due to the 'wonderful' personalities each of them exude SO vibrantly...yup, that's DEFINITELY NO.1...
2. My dear darling compy
3. My dear darling compy's internet connection
4. My wonderfully peaceful ( OR NOT!)family, but then I'm already used to that
5.--> 10. The extremely irritating and painful toothache I currently have the joy of experiencing..
Someone...just make the fatal mistake of irritating me...yup, I'm just waiting, coz it'd be the absolutely PERFECT ending to an absolutely perfect day...me murdering someone..

Yay, for our suteki to omoshiroi (I just <3 that word for some reason..--;;) Midsummer Night's Dream, let's not forget to highlight the Asian Version part of it..well, somehow we made it to the Finals..
okay, so not, somehow, I know all of us were amazing on Monday, I'm just nervous since the Finals are tomorrow...but then again, if the background music is comprised of titles such as Freesia~op.2 , Story, U+K and Kimi Ga Matteiru Kara, I guess I won't worry about the 'make sure you look sad and start crying' part, coz I definitely will. Drama or no drama, Story especially will ALWAYS make me cry...which is wonderful since the live performance of Story in Sixth Day Seventh Night was the first live performance of his I watched...and of course cried like hell...even though I didn't understand one thing he was saying...

Hn..why is it that people love to deny their feelings about something to themselves... why do they content themselves with looking happy just for evevryone else although inside, inside they are continually screaming for an angel to save them? If you don't reach out your hand, no one will save you. No one can.

Nobody should EVER make that mistake. Why?

Just live ,can't you? Why is it so hard to be happy? To trust that you are living in the right way, doing what you should do and being happy about it. Is happiness such a bad thing that everyone chooses to live without it? By doing things you know you will regret someday if not now.

Why is everyone so afraid of love? To love and be loved? If you love someone, why deny it? There's nothing wrong with loving others. But, we choose to ignore that feeling, willing it to go away,because we are afraid. Of what? Getting hurt? Crying? Isn't not having any live at all much more painful than anything else?
Trust me, you do not want to have the knowledge of what it feels like, to love someone, without realising that it is love, but to fianally realise, only after that person is gone. It's too late. Too late. And then, what's going to bring that person back? Your tears? No. Tears didn't work. Tears never work with death. Time doesn't either. Nothing does, because the pain will alaways be there. A day later, two years later, it will never change. Because you know it's your fault. Regret it, cry, wail, go mad, commit suicide, whatever, nothing will change the fact that you were too late. Nothing. And you know it. It's your fault.
Of ouse people will say, remember the happy times, but what if there never were any happy times? Nothing to remember? What then? You'd just be lost, floating in the dark, all alone. Because you wanted to be there in the first place, didn't you?

Don't any of you DARE do anything you will regret. Don't EVER lie to yourself. Never. Because there's no time for you. Live, be happy, and if you don't I will personally hunt you down and kill you.

HAPPY HYDE'S DAY, EVERYONE.

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Smiling always, Even though I am fake...

Mar. 8th, 2006 | 12:55 am
mood: pensive^^
music: Kekkonshiki no uta- Miyavi

Wow, it's been like forever since I updated Black Glass ne...
Hmm ok let's see, what have I missed??
Well, I guess the first of MINOR DETAILS would have to be the full account of the debate..
First round, well ,we won, everyone knows, but I'll never forget what Annabel said...(bitch, that one really is..grrr..) Susy apologised fine and well, and I even came to like her. Onee-san was right , she may have been like us, but I think that was a LONG, LONG time ago ^^. But she still understands (a little,ne) about Yuffie, Lucrecia, Marlene and me. ( I AM NOT TIFA, ONEE-SAN, WAKARIMASUKA?!!) And we ACTUALLY TOLD HER ABOUT GACKT AND HYDE!!?? 0_0...I'm still wondering how come^^;; But then she DID say that she can't believe Hyde is 37 (who can??) and that Gackt is beautiful (more so than any woman I can name ^^) Soo..she seems to have redeemed herself..

Round 2, well, it was my and Lucrecia's turn to talk!! And I will always remember, sitting in the dusty library storeroom and trying to speak like Kadaj!! " Dakara, kimi-tachi no karada wa itami soushite sonzai mo...(wasureta,ne^^;;) And of course, giggling like crazy, even though I had to go and debate in front of a crowd of a 100 people...and I didn't even Know my speech..but miraculously or whatever, we won!!?

And then, round three, where we were sick of debating and we just wanted to kick Cvt's ass and then proceed to do the drama, I mean we hardly prepared, but then needless to say we DID kick their asses, which of course made them decidedly unhappy and grouchy, too grouchy to be polite for a girl's school, but then most of them behaved like a bunch of uncivilised overgrown apes (interesting choice of words..) even Angeline, whom I met after more than 5 years, and whom I have absolutely NO desire to meet again, considering the stuck up bitchy thing she seems to be now (I KNOW MY LANGUAGE IS COLOURFUL, WHY DON'T YOU GO BLAME MY MIYAVI AND LEAVE ME ALONE,ok?)
Of course, Cvt won because of the biased judges, but then it happens every year and I don't even care anyway. The look on their faces when we screamed after the winner was announced was just priceless! Shows what idiots they are! Sadly, all of them just need to get a life...and then maybe they'll all grow up...but then , I don't give a damn..^^.
Well, The debate's over and now we're full with the drama...what with me being Inari and all. I just AM NOT LADYLIKE, ok (that definitely sounded Tifa-ish...-__-) whatever anyone says, I can act it, I can pretend to be like Michiru, but I am not, not ,SO. NOT. LADYLIKE!!! GOT THAT, SERIA, MEGUMI NEE-SAN??
(I can repeat if you want!!)Hmmpphh...
And of course, Physic has joyfully, gloriously started ^^. If I ever lay my hands on the person that invented PFK....let's just leave it at that, shall we??

Oh yes, let's all say OMEDETOU to the jerk that put his hand in my window at 5.45 a.m. in the morning and stole my phone. Jerk is so damn bloody lucky I didn't have my bokken, or lampshade or guitar or anything else in arm's reach coz after the initial shock, I would have been more than happy to display what I learned fron watching Gackt perform Lu:na live in Sixth Day Seventh Night. (The fighting part,I mean!!)
If there's anything else, and there probably is, which I've forgotten, I blame lack of sleep...

And now on to the serious stuff....
I have FINALLY watched Advent Children , and I say anyone who likes to watch movies in general, WATCH THIS!! Even though you don't know anything about FF VII, JUST WATCH IT COZ THAT IS A DAMN GOOD MOVIE, Right up there with MOONCHILD, Last Quarter and so on...^^
Any person that says Cloud doesn't look like Gackt , ARE YOU BLIND?? He looks SO MUCH like Gackt, in Wasurenai Kara and Vanilla, and even their characteristics are so alike...I mean HE IS JUST SO GACKTISH!! WHY, OH WHY , ISN'T ONE ENOUGH, WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY???
Gackt, Shou, Squall Leonhart, Tidus, Cloud Strife, Sanzo, Kenshin, Seighart, Sousuke, Touya, Homura, Kougaiji, Vincent...and hyde, Kei, Adam, even Miyavi!!!??? WHY! HOW! I DON'T KNOW!!!!!
ok, calmed down...
I'm not even going to go into Zack and Aeris' deaths, what happened with Lucrecia and Vincent, Kadaj and Sephiroth.. never mind...coz I would probably start crying again, since I cry easily now, thanks to you, my dear Camui Gackt, and your words "It's okay to cry, since there's always tv, right"
(I WANT UV VOL 123!!! AND DIABOLOS!!! AND THE AIEN NO SHI TO SEIYA NO NAMIDA DIABOLOS TOUR DVD!!!! AND THE PLATINUM BOX 6!!!!! But the dvd is wahat, RM 200? and the Platinum Box , Rm 289, but then it's a limited edition...i want it, really ,really want it...T____T
But I now have another puppy, little bro to Ricky Timothy Moose, and his name is RUFUS LUNA RYU!!! and Rufus comes from Rufus Shin-Ra ,of course! Man, that guy has style!!But than, so does Kadaj, Sephiroth, Vincent, and of course , Cloud (remembers incident in Aeris's church when Cloud comes walking in...and megumi nee-san's comments...^^ *evil thoughts...*^^ Yes, I am a very bad girl, whoever thought to call *ME* innocent is mad, so totally blindly mad, coz you can't get more evil then me, unless you're an international terrorist or some other selected individuals...I may look all sweet and innocent but even Lucrecia know that I'm not,yup...sad to say ,heartbreaking to hear , but I'm not all that sweet and cute as I look. God, I even suggested putting rusted nails under my window because broken glass breaks easily. If I EVER catch that bloody jerk that climbed up my window and stole my phone, I will really crush EVERY SINGLE BONE in that arm. And sever all his muscles and bloods vessels, but I would make sure all the receptors are in place though, since I want him to feel everything, slowly...and I know how to do it too, since I'm a Bio student, so, be careful, just let me catch ONE glimpse and you, ARE SO FINISHED. I AM SERIOUS.
Well, This IS gettin long....
Now, Miyavi...what about him,ne? Just suddenly appeared all of a sudden in our lives, and we all love him so much...I mean, he seems all arrogant and such a stuck up guy, but he's actually such a sweet guy. Kami, he's so kawaii ^^.. Ilove his words (naturally tattoed somewhere on him, this time on his arm) " I am the one and only. In Heaven and on Earth." You are so right, Miyavi-san. There is no one in this whole world like you, just like there is no one like Camui Gackt and no one like hyde..
AND I love all of you!!^^ Aishiteru, salangheyo, wo ai ni, kadhalikkiren, pyaar kartihoon, saya mencintaimu...see, I do know many languages^^

Somehow, now, his death is coming back to me again and again. I hate to remember, I don't want to remember, but the reason I am smiling now is because he led me to this. He led me to my Moon and he knew Moon would never let go. Why are they just so alike? Peel back Gackt and I will see him, I know. Why? Doushite? I hate him, i hate him, i hate him.... but I will always love him. I know I will never see you again, but who knows...maybe..
Yume no naka ni,
Kiyoku no naka ni,
Hikari no naka de,
Kaero basho e,
Mata doko kara kitto, kitto aeru kara, ne!
(In our dreams,
In our memories,
In the light,
To the place we will return to,
Someday, somewhere, We will definitely meet again,okay!)
U+K~Gackt

I guess, it's all coming back now because Cloud seems like an exact replica of him. But I don't know, All I know is that I have loved him, but he has left this world, I miss him, but I know we will meet again....I believe it is so...I know it is so....and I am crying again....Oyasumi, minna-san, I go now to Tel'aran 'Rhiod, The world of Dreams, and I will wait there again...Goodnight.

"In this whole world,
Even if no one understands,
It's alright,
Because you are waiting.
Even now, I am looking at the unchanged you,
Just like then..
If perhaps someday you are reborn again
Just like that day...
We'll surely meet again

Even if I'm trembling all alone in the night...
I'll be waiting
Now I can't see you like you were that day

I closed my eyes and touched that smile

No matter how far apart we may become...
I'll be waiting
I'll believe that you're always by my side
Just you...

Even if no one else in the world understands...
If you'll be waiting
I see you unchanged even now
Just like then..."
Kimi ga Matteiru Kara~ Crescent~ Gackt
-One of the most beautiful songs ever written, but the it's by Gackt, kind of typical of him...^^
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Who is Gackt to me?

Feb. 3rd, 2006 | 12:50 am
mood: touchedtouched
music: Kimi ga Matteiru Kara- Gackt

I still can't believe I won... this is probably the first essay writing thing I won, and the one that meant the most to me so far...^^

ok, so here it is...the essay I wrote at 4 am in the morning in my Math exercise book, of all places (don't ask)..and my Christmas present was being able to finish this on time and get 2 hrs of sleep on Christmas Day (wonder how Gackt does it...)

I'd really love it if everyone comments on this, I'd love to know what you think when you read this.

CAMUI GACKT...
by Illeyna (Fuyu_no_hime) 16 yrs old.

"Love comes through the heart
It begins through the eyes "

Love indeed does come from the heart. But for me, it did not begin through sight. It began through sound. When? How? I don't know. All I know is that I first fell in love with a voice. His voice. He voice that reached me through the darkness and desperation that I was in and gave me a new life. Another world, filled with hope. He lighted up my world, and
now I do not know a life without his presence. Even though he does not even know that I exist in this world, I know that I love him. Camui Gackt.
However, sometimes it just feels too good to be true. Is it all just a beautiful dream I am going to wake up from someday? Is he even real? Is he just a false actor that puts on another's face while performing?

Camui Gackt. His real name? Unknown. Whether he is a 456 year old vampire, God, or a musician, I knew there was something special about him, something that set him apart from everyone else. Watching him perform, I find myself wondering why is it that I feel this way. Could it be the unspeakable intensity that somehow manifests itself in all of his performances? Or is it the emotion he pours into his songs? The power of his voice or the sincerity in his expression, the truth in his smile or the genuineness in his tears?
Or is it just because he is Gackt?

How do I convince myself that all of this is not just another dream? Another one of my fantasies evoked just to save myself from the dark abyss in my mind that has always been threatening to swallow me? Why do I feel that he is not another actor just like most others? What makes him so human and reachable even though he is so far away physically?

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to hide something about yourself under layers of fog, the people that truly love you will find out. It is so with Gackt. To the outside world, he is seen as a performer, a singer, a musician, like so many others. You can see him 'rocking out' and enjoying himself as he performs. But to those eyes that look at him
as something more than just another singer, they see the meaning behind his words, the story hidden behind the lyrics. And those, like me, recognized the story as Gackt's own story, the stories of those around him, the stories he wants to tell us, if only we would bother to listen. The story of all the feelings he has felt and still feels all put into his singing. The story of all the feelings he knows all of us can relate to, feelings we
may once have felt, or are still feeling. All of us may have felt loss at some point in our lives. " Me too.." he seems to say, and this can be seen in most of his songs.

"Kakaekirenai hodo no hanataba to nido to fureru koto no nai kuchibiru ni...
kaeranu toki no towa no hakanasa ni te no todokanai basho ni tsuresarareteiku
azayaka ni saita donna hana yori mo kimi to no omoide ga aishisugite"
(So many bouquets of flowers that they cannot be held and the lips that I'll never touch again...
Into the eternal transience of the time we cannot return to, you're being taken away to the place no one can reach
More than any flower that brightly blooms; I love my memories with you too much) (1)

Through his songs, I feel he is saying," I am human too. It's normal for humans to get hurt. I have been hurt before as well. I am not untouchable just because I am a performer. I need what all other people need. I feel what all other people feel."

"Ushinatta egao no kazu dake, kesshite uragiru koto wa dekinai no da to
nandomo sou kokoro de tsubuyaita"
(Only your lost smiling face
Could never do anything like betray
Over and over I murmured this to my heart) (2)
And then he says," Do you know how it feels to have someone you love taken away from you? I don't want you to ever experience that… "
(Jihaku, Chapter 6/IROKOI/Hakketsubyou to Kanojo no Hiren, translated by Gerald Tarrant)
But then, he goes ahead to give all his fans hope.

"wazuka na hikari o mitsukereba ii
ima no taiyou ga agaranakute mo
furidashita ame wa itsuka yamu n da ne..."
(It's fine if I only find a little bit of light
Even if today's sun doesn't rise
"The falling rain will someday cease, won't it...") (3)

And I smile. I realize, if these feelings and emotion he puts into his lyrics are not real, then why do all that listen to his lyrics become touched and inspired to go on? Why do those that listen to his songs actually feel anything if all he is doing is singing a bunch of words he does not even mean? If he is not genuine, how can I sense the need behind these
words?
"Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete..." ("Please hold me tight just once more...") (4)

And then, there are the live performances. Anybody that watches a live performance of 'Soleil' or 'U+K' will want to get up and dance along themselves! These songs are famous for their cheerfulness. Gackt exudes an aura of happiness that makes all present and watching him feel happy and energized. He has the wonderful gift of letting the audience know how he feels about what he is singing through his facial expressions and body language and they end up feeling the same thing as well. His smile and laughter makes us all laugh along. The same goes for when he performs songs like 'Saikai~story~' that would normally reduce one to tears even without watching a performance, but just listening to the song. Watching a live performance of Gackt's lets you feel the true power of the whole song, its lyrics, music, Gackt's voice and the emotion contained within. Even though there's only Gackt and a piano on stage, such as the performance of 'Last Song' (Seventh Night Version) in the Sixth Day Seventh Night Concert, you can feel the sadness he wants the audience to feel, understand and know. No mere performer would have the power to accomplish this even if they had a full orchestra to back them up while Camui Gackt only needs a piano and a microphone. "At a live, I send my feelings out to everyone there..." "Me trying to send my feelings out is a very important thing. If I don't, nothing begins, and if I stop doing it, then I will cease to exist. (Jihaku, Chapter 1/SOUZOU/Boku no Sekai wa live ni, translation by Gerald Tarrant)
This shows how important Gackt thinks it is for us to feel what he is feeling.

This of course leads to the intensity present in all things he does. It is evident that he does only what he wants to do and is not forced by anyone. "There are things that you believe you can do yourself. Things that you think you want to do. If you think you can do them, you prepare yourself for it and then you do it. If you can do everything, then go ahead and do everything. (Jihaku, Chapter 1/SOUZOU/Boku no Sekai wa live ni, translation by Gerald Tarrant)
He does so much just to make sure that everything is as it should be. He does this to the point that he even endangers his health. "After recording, I fall down in the middle of the recording room. Unlike most other people, I exhaust myself completely." (Jihaku, Chapter 1/SOUZOU/Boku no Sekai wa live ni, translation by Gerald Tarrant)
All this is obvious in the quality of the performance he puts on. It makes the audience feel just how much what he is doing means to him. He works and fights so hard just to get the audience to feel what he wants them to during the performance of a song. "To express this song, rain is necessary, and through the rain, what will the audience feel when we express the main character's feelings?" (Jihaku, Chapter 1/SOUZOU/Boku no Sekai wa live ni, translation by Gerald Tarrant)
And the result? The power he puts into each song he performs is enough to leave everyone stunned.

Then, of course, there is one more thing Gackt is famous for. His Dears. Unlike many other artists, Gackt really places much importance on his fans, calling them his dears. To him, it is important for his fans to know the truth about him, from his departure from Malice Mizer to the way he feels about his future. All of this and more about himself he
explains in his autobiography, Jihaku. Why? To quote Gackt himself, "No matter what would happen at the end, could I shut the curtain in the face of the fans that have helped me along until now? That was the most important thing." (Jihaku, Chapter 3 /GEKIRYUU/Malice Mizer Dattai no Shinsou, translation by Gerald Tarrant)
However much he may perform in the face of everything, this is one thing all of us can say with certainty. To Gackt, his true fans are everything. In his point of view, what is important is not the number of fans he has, but the fans that he has managed to touch with his music. "Even if I call to 1,000 people and only one responds, that's fine. If there is that one child who feels me calling, that child will, with his own strength, change the environment around him. (Jihaku, Chapter 7/SOUZOU/Hatenaiki Miraizou, Translation by Gerald Tarrant)
Those fans that understand what and who he is and listen, not just to his music and lyrics, but also to him, on a much deeper level. Those that listen to his wishes for "people to not exist in vain." .His words for people to "live their lives to the fullest." And to "not throw away any possibilities they may have."(Jihaku, Chapter 7/SOUZOU/Hatenaiki Miraizou,
Translation by Gerald Tarrant)

I reason with myself. With my heart as well as my mind. If he is an act, then why would he be like this? Why would he care so much for those that listen to him, regardless of language and race? Why would someone that is just acting want to be so much to others that respond to him? Why would he want those that respond to him to be always guided by his path and story so that they would never lose themselves?

These words of his will always be in my heart and echo in my mind.
"I am the moon. I dimly light the road, and the only thing I can do is point it out to you. But when you all take that one step forward, I will gently, quietly watch over you." (Jihaku, Chapter 6/SOUZOU/Oitsuzukeru "Tsuki" e no Omoi, translation by Gerald Tarrant)
His words that say all of us should be brave, let ourselves overcome all the barriers, take all the risks we have to, and become the person each of us was born to become. For the largest obstacle we may face could be our own selves. He inspires me to inspire everyone around me, to help all around me gain courage to do what we have to do. And though the path taken may not lead to riches and glory, he reminds me that at least, I had the courage needed to break free and live my life the way I wanted to. That I was not a coward. I should not let myself be pulled along by the current, but to be my own person, a person I could be proud of. Gackt shares with all that will hear, his wishes for his fans, for the people that listen to his music. That wish is to allow him and his music to guide us
forward, to have something to go back to when all is dark and seems lost, but most importantly, to keep on walking, and then we will find our path on our own. Gackt, he is the dim light that will light our paths on the journey. Not the blinding light of the sun, but the guiding light of the moon. That made me realize that I could do everything I had ever wanted to do. All I had to do was believe that I could do it and be brave enough to step up and take the plunge.

And so, I try to make up my mind in a conclusion. Is he real? Well, I guess that he is just like everyone else. If you peel back the coverings, you will find the real Gackt. The Gackt that shines through the smokescreen whenever he is performing. Whenever he is doing what he wants to be doing. Thinking of Camui Gackt, I sometimes feel that his
personality is like a rose. It has many layers. However, each layer is equally, incredibly beautiful. That is how I can say that he is a very beautiful person. His looks are not the only part of him that is exquisite and beautiful. Camui Gackt, in whole, is a very beautiful person. Beautiful enough for those of us that know him to call him God.

Why is it that he means so much to me? Smilingly, I admit it to myself. Without this God to watch over me from afar, my sanity and life would long have been lost from the clutches of my fingers. It is because of Camui Gackt that I can approach my sixteenth birthday with the feeling that I am glad to be alive. A feeling that overwhelms me to tears sometimes. The rare presence of this feeling, which strangely began less than a year ago when I listened to Kimi no Tameni Dekiru Koto (What I can do for you). What did Camui Gackt do for me? I do not know. His music, his voice and him as a person, returned to me the feelings and emotions I had lost as a child, breaking the wall that I had built around
myself and my loved ones, giving me back my dreams, and most importantly, my smile and happiness. He gave me the will to live again. What did Camui Gackt do for me? Even though he does not know it, he gave me back myself. Is he a fake? I do not know. But I do know that if he is a fake, then everything in my life so far is a dream I have been living. A beautiful dream that has swallowed me. And if anybody thinks to ask me ," Who is Camui Gackt to you?" , without a moment's hesitation I would answer," To me, Camui Gackt is everything."




Footnotes:
1. "Mind Forest" , translation by Mina-P
2. "Dears" , translation by Mina-P
3. "Dears" , translation by Mina-P
4. "Last Song" , translation by Mina-P


*ps-I just want to say (and I don't care if he will not see this!! I WILL tell him someday..)
"Camui Gackt, arigato. Hontou ni arigato. Thank you for everything"

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Sen no Kaze...

Dec. 24th, 2005 | 03:29 am
mood: tiredsleep....i need sleep...
music: Le Ciel-Malice Mizer

To my eternal memories...
All of you will remain in my heart forever...

A THOUSAND WINDS]

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep there.

I am a thsousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in the circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.

---Author unknown

Dedicated to Kami-san,Prof.Albus,Mr.bLACK AND MOST OF ALL TO MY DEAR,DEAR FRIEND, THE LATE Sieg-sama,
I LOVE YOU.
Thanks to Hideto Takarai and Camui Gackt for showing me such beautiful things in this world and for teaching me again how to live.Without you I would not be here. I'd be drowning in the dark abyss in my own mind instead of worrying about my new hairstyle and how I now look like Eva from Desperate Housewives...sigh...


I will always be here
In this realm of existence
To be able to see
But not to feel.
Lost in the flurry of windstorms and snowflkes
I am now frozen
For you left me in the cold
To break the icy surface of the lake and drown
I am still wandering in the labyrinth
Trying to find the thread
Before my ghosts ensnare me
and I become one with them...
~Illeyna~

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Smiling memories....

Dec. 22nd, 2005 | 03:49 am
mood: contentThanks to my moon^^
music: Missing - Gackt

Well ,It's my first entry....but is's also 4am and I need sleep....
Finally I got to watch Perhaps Love!! Takeshi-san looks really kakkoii!!^^ Aside from that, it's a really beautiful story...but there had to be that snow right??
Perhaps, this is love? How do we know when we are in love? She didn't know and i guess she didn't want to make a mistake but she is very lucky. She has the love of two men , both who have wanted her to let them go when they knew how unsure she was.Well, as Megumi said, she will find true love, but what if this time it's the opposite? Perhaps....Love...
Even though we all have it,it is still the most unexplainable thing, huh? It definitely can't be proven can it?
"Will you be able to love someone enough to send them away to avoid hurting them? Wishing for their smile even though you can't see it? And all the while, you keep on saying I wiil not let go,you are just like him, perhaps love or true love, you will do ANYTHING for the people you love, won't you? Including hurt yourself....
Well , you call me your Dear ,so if you love me you will do this for me.
Smile. Smile. Smile. Be happy. You are the reason I am smiling now, I am happy now and I am alive now so please, please, for me, for us, SMILE, ne!
This is the only present I can give you this Christmas. My love and wish that you will be happy and at peace...but what about my birthday present!! (wink)
To the one person who will not read this, I hope you will someday....
And to the rest of the world, GOODNIGHT (or GOOD MORNING??!)
Face tomorrow with a smile.It's your best weapon!

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